Chick Blood Quotes

To celebrate Chick Blood’s contributions here, I’d like to remember him by how we worked and share some of my favorite “Chick-isms.”

“The yarn-spinning potential wrapped around this handgun and its genesis could use up an hour of gun gabbing.”

“No matter how poorly you speak German, spell it ‘Anschutz.’”

“Note: ‘From away’ is where all who visit Maine are said to come from when spoken of by a native-born Mainer. My Dad was born in Maine. He graduated from the University of Maine. I spent the first 18 summers of my life at Sebec Lake, located in the middle of Maine. I went to Maine fishing for brookies with Dad for thirty years. I go to Maine every year to see old friends and still surviving family. Yet, I remain referred to as being ‘from away.’”

“Suppose you weren’t working on a barrel fitting job. Suppose you were making a wooden picture frame. If any one of your four frame sides isn’t squared and true on its ends there will be gaps instead of tight joints where the frame angles meet. In such a situation, these gaps can be filled and blended smooth before the frame is painted. The last time I looked, I found no rifle barrels or receivers made of wood so we won’t be able to cover such mistakes as easily.”

“Why is the name “Buntline Special” in quotes? Because “The Edward Zane Carroll Judson Special” wouldn’t fit on the page. Mr. Judson, the dime novel king to be, conjured up a nom de plume for himself stolen from old-time seamen when they referred to the rope at the bottom of a square sail and became Ned Buntline.”

“The handgun had been forbidden for import by the usual suspects. At taxpayer expense, they ponder in heavily secured conference rooms day after day to compose regulations affecting things about which they know little or nothing. In this particular case, it was the CZ-75.”

“The eloquent explanation regarding gun and ammunition shortages provided by our editor in the September issue omitted a major factor. Before he descends upon me in a dark fury, I’ll explain further.”

“Every time Senators Feinstein, Shumer or The Golfer-in-Chief mention more “gun control” in seeking a cure for nutcase-inflicted mayhem, firearm production can’t keep up with the subsequent public demand, the sale of reloading equipment soars and the hoarding of related components begins. If the Senators, et al., were wise enough they might realize they are all candidates for being handed Salesperson of the Year awards by every member of the National Shooting Sports Foundation.”

“Securing a squeeze bulb for this operation will call for a visit to your neighborhood pharmacy. I caution you against using the household poultry baster as a substitute. The reaction of the resident kitchen master to that happening is too terrible to speak of here.”

“Turns out, someone ‘up there’ must have heard me and decided I wasn’t a total kook. “
“In case you missed it the first five times, this will be your sixth warning about aftermarket triggers.”

“Like most of the “auntie” gun laws enacted since the Brady Bunch initiated its campaign to eliminate handguns and handgun ammunition in the United States since 1976, this one also won’t do a thing to stop crime.”

“Never heard of the Bloomberg Gun? Surely you jest. If not, then you’re likely among the multitude who prefer not to remember Michael Bloomberg, the multi-millionaire, TV channel owner, and former mayor of New York City. For no reason not attributed to pure party politics he was elected thrice. In retrospect, many feel this was twice too often.

“Hizzoner set off on his gun crusade. Bloomberg deeply believed guns were evil. All guns. The most evil were guns of a color other than blue, blue-black, dull grey-green, dull grey, or chrome as those were how the guns being carried by the personal bodyguards and state troopers charged with protecting New York City’s Chief Executive looked. To The Mayor, the solution to this ever-arising concern during his administration was to outlaw all products used to paint guns. Overlooked or deliberately ignored were any of the portable paint products sold in hardware, home improvement , hobby, and craft stores that could be used to paint a firearm. Instead, it flat outlawed one product well known in the gunsmithing/customizing business for strength, surface integrity, and prevention of rust: Lauer Custom DuraBlue.

“Lauer Custom’s DuraBlue Bloomberg Gun has an overall background is red brick with grey mortar joints. Each of the five boroughs is spelled out in its dedicated color along with imitation bullet holes and graffiti in the brick pattern. Among the most memorable of the graffiti is, “For a good time call 212-xxx-xxxx”, the x’s here substituting for the actual direct number to the phone on Bloomberg’s desk.”

Read more in the July 2018 issue.

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